Giving up Shampoo (Days 1-5)

A little over a year ago, I colored my hair and put the little conditioning cream on it after I finished. The next day, my hair was a lovely color, but the heaviest, waxiest, greasiest mess. I washed it three times and it didn't seem to improve at all! I did a little google research and learned that it was the silicone on my hair and that I could use a clarifying shampoo (which I didn't have) OR I could use baking soda to clean it out and then rinse with vinegar and that would take care of the problem. I figured I didn't have much to lose, so I gave it a try! It worked WONDERS! Several years back I read a blog of a woman who decided to go all natural with her body. I don't recall the blog or I would give her credit, but I remember that she didn't wash her hair at all for several months it seemed. I don't think she used soap on her body either.

Several months ago I started becoming very interested in DIY cleaning products. I now make my own laundry detergent and disinfectant cleaner. Pinterest is partly responsible for this. :) I already knew that you could use baking soda as an exfoliant (or epsom salts). I knew that you could DIY deodorant (um, no thank you). So when I stumbled onto the "no poo" movement (hmm, perhaps a bad combination of words?) I was interested. As I read more I became very intrigued and decided I wanted to give it a try. My straight hair might become wavy or curly?! I'm IN! No more spending $15 a month on shampoo and conditioner! YES! Have more body and use fewer styling products! I can do that! I blogged about it on my more private blog and learned that several of my friends wash their hair only once a week or have give up traditional shampoo entirely. I hesitated to announce that I wanted to try going no poo because EW!, right?! I felt like I would be viewed as one of those weird Asheville hippie dread-locked pot-smoking artist people... except that I don't live in Asheville, I'm not a hippie, I don't have dreads, I don't smoke pot, and I'm not an artist.

I originally read about going cold turkey on shampoo and only rinsing your hair in the shower and massaging your scalp so that was my original plan. I was going to tough out the weeks of greasy hair and one day wake up to less greasy hair. Maybe... I was still thinking about whether or not I would survive all the bad hair days and when to start it since I am looking for a job right now. Interview + greasy hair = no job offer. Then my friends started talking about baking soda and weaning off shampoo and the transition being easy... so I decided to just give it a try. No more shampoo but I could use baking soda and I could start "washing" less frequently. If I had an interview or job hunting day and baking soda wasn't doing the trick then I could wash my hair for that day.

I have not shampooed my hair since Tuesday. I have not missed shampoo (except the smell of it). My hair has a ton of body, it curls easily, it is shiny, and my fly-aways seem to have flown far, far away. I never had frizzy hair or dry hair or unhealthy hair. My hair is naturally straight, somewhat fine (but I have a lot of it), and generally does what I want it to do with minimal difficulty.

Day 1 -- Rinsed and finger scrubbed my scalp. Blow dried my hair and styled it with my curling iron. It looked okish, but felt flat and heavy and gross. I put it in a ponytail and that solved the problem.

Day 2 -- Mixed up some baking soda and water and scrubbed that into my scalp in the shower. Rinsed it out really well and used some conditioner on the ends just so I could get my round brush through my hair while blow drying. My hair looked really good. Lots of body and only needed a few turns of the curling iron it get it all going the direction I wanted. I have a good cut that is growing out nicely (I'm growing my hair out) so the ends typically flip on their own. My hair was soft and shiny. It felt a little different than I was used to at the roots -- not really greasy but kind of waxy. I was able to wear it down all day without feeling like it was dirty. It didn't tangle as easily as normal and kept its body all day even after I took a nap on it and had baby hands in it.

Day 3 --  I just used a little conditioner on the ends. My hair felt pretty good, but a little waxier than the day before. It looked good and clean. I probably could have tolerated it being down all day, but we are in the process of moving so I put it up to keep it out of my face. I used my curling iron and it curled even better than the day before!

Day 4 -- Baking soda and water with tea tree and lemongrass essential oils for the roots. White vinegar and water rinse for the ends. Blow dry, hot rollers. I did use hair products on Day 4 because my hot roller curls tend to poof out and not stay nicely defined so I scrunched them with a little oil and then used some hairspray to keep it all in place. The curls held all day (not unusual for me).

Day 5 -- Nothing until about 6 PM. Put it in a ponytail and loaded the moving truck. Told some friends who were helping us about the no poo thing. They are interested! Ran their fingers through my hair... it was soft, not greasy, not heavy... shiny and looked great. I think I am at the point that I can skip a day of washing and not notice! This evening I just used a little baking soda and then a white vinegar rinse to remove yesterday's styling products. I didn't put much effort into styling my hair, but I did blow dry it and it looked good for the amount of effort I put into it which was very little. It feels good though.

I will try to keep you updated on my progress, but so far I am loving it! I have noticed that conditioner makes it feel heavy. I'm not sure if I like the white vinegar rinse -- it doesn't seem to improve things... in fact it might make it lose some of its body. I didn't notice yesterday (Day 4) because it is always very full when I use hot rollers. I think I will just use the baking soda or nothing over the next few days and see what happens.

Lord, if you are willing, you can do it.

Jesus came down from the mountainside. Large crowds followed him. A man who had a skin disease came and got down on his knees in front of Jesus. He said, "Lord, if you are willing to make me 'clean,' you can do it." Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing to do it," he said. "Be 'clean'!" Right away the man was healed of his skin disease.  – Matthew 8:1-3

Any of us who have grown up in church have heard stories about Jesus healing people. We have learned of the blind that were made to see, the lame that were made to walk, the dead who were raised to life, the sick who were made well. We all know that Jesus heals, but sometimes the greatest lessons are in reading between the lines of these stories. The most beautiful lessons are the ones that are a little beneath the words and discovered in the more significant meaning.

As I read the story of the leper of Matthew 8, I realized that there are three characters in this story and they represent more than the role they play in this story.

In reading this story, I noticed that this story is kind of about the leper, but more than that, it’s about Jesus. Jesus is the central character here. He is the first one mentioned and he is the one performing the action in this story.

The secondary character is the leper, referred to in this version as “a man who had a skin disease.” For simplicity we will call him Lester. Lester the Leper just has a certain ring to it. Lester is the one to whom the action is directed.

There is a third character in this story – the crowds that followed Jesus. I had never really considered the crowds to be a character in this story until today, but I think that they play a very significant role that we have to read between the lines to see.

To tell this story I must begin with the Lester the Leper for the story to make sense. Lester came to Jesus and said, “Lord, if you are willing to make me ‘clean,’ you can do it.” Lester believed that Jesus could, but he recognized his unworthiness in coming to Jesus and didn’t know if Jesus would. Like many diseases in ancient times “leprosy was considered a curse of God, often associated with sin” (Gillen). Lester the Leper represents a sinner. Lester represents you and I, “for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). We must believe that Jesus can heal our disease of sin.

Lepers were shunned, cast out from society, and considered unclean. When diagnosed with leprosy, regardless of your place in society, you were sent to associate with only those of similar illness. Leprosy is highly contagious and the ‘clean’ did not associate with the ‘unclean.’ In fact, the ‘unclean’ had to declare themselves if walking through the streets in order to warn the ‘clean’ that they were coming. Lester would have had to push his way through the crowds to get to Jesus. Leprosy was not an invisible disease; it destroyed the body. The crowds would have known, even without him declaring himself, that he was unclean. They would have done one of two things: 1) gotten out of the way or 2) tried to block his way to Jesus. In Ministry of Healing, Mrs. White tells us that this is exactly what happened as the leper approached Jesus (69). We are the leper, but I believe that there are times that we also play the role of the crowd. How often do we treat those who are “worse” sinners than us with disgust? How often do we ignore and avoid those who struggle with the sins that we consider ugly? Rather than leading them to Jesus, the one who heals, how often by our treatment of them do we stand in their way and block their view of Jesus? We should not act like the crowds. Instead, we should show sinners the love of Jesus and lead them to His feet where they can receive His grace and be made whole.

Finally, the central and most important character of this story is Jesus. Lester said to Jesus, “Lord, if you are willing to make me ‘clean,’ you can do it.” Don’t miss what Jesus does here because I think what He does is more important that what he says! “Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.” Jesus did not just use words, but he did the very thing that everyone else refused to do – He touched the leper, possibly the first touch he had experienced since being declared ‘unclean.’ Jesus reaches into the darkest places of our hearts that no one else dares explore for fear of it rubbing off and He touches us. Jesus isn’t afraid of our sin and He isn’t disgusted by us. With love, Jesus reached out his hand to the leper and He touched Him and made Him well. With that same love, Jesus stretched out His hands on the cross for the sinner to touch our hearts and heal us from the disease of sin.

The leper believed that Jesus could make him well, but didn’t know if he would. Our prayers are not always answered in the way that we want or as soon as we would like. There is one prayer whose answer will never be denied or delayed and is the sinners plea for mercy. 1 John 14-15 (NIRV), “There is one thing we can be sure of when we come to God in prayer. If we ask anything in keeping with what he wants, he hears us. If we know that God hears what we ask for, we know that we have it.” Galatians 1:4 says that it is the will of God to save us.

Believe that God can and will save you and do not stand in the way of those who come to Him.

References:

Gillen, Alan L. "Biblical Leprosy: Shedding Light on the Disease that Shuns" Answers in Genesis, June 10, 2007. < http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/am/v2/n3/the-disease-that-shuns>

White, Ellen G. Ministry of Healing. Review and Herald, 1999. <http://www.whiteestate.org/books/mh/mh.asp >

All Bible verses taken from BibleGateway.com and are from the NIRV.

A poem

Originally posted on 5/28/08

Dawn's Eternal Invitation

Early morning
The stars retire from their watch
Withdrawing their luminance
Silence cloaks all creation

Suddenly Dawn
Breaks upon the horizon
Daylight comes with symphony
Bringing with her a new day

And so You are
In my bleakest moment
Bursting forth in a song of grace
Beckoning me to dance

The Better Way

Some call me old-fashioned when it comes to dating. I wasn't always this way. Until the last year or so, if I liked a guy, I went for it, because if I didn't let him know I was interested how would he know? Surely no one could put us together better than I could, and certainly God couldn't find the right person for me and put things together without my help.

I am by nature a go-getter and I approached relationships no differently than I did any other goal or dream. I saw what I wanted and I worked hard for it. Sometimes I got him, sometimes I didn't, but it wasn't for lack of trying. No guy could ever say that he didn't know I was interested or that he didn't know what I wanted. I made those things abundantly clear.

In the past I have asked guys out, pushed myself on them, chased them, pursued them. Every time, whether sooner or later, I ended up with a broken heart, a failed relationship, alone, and determined to never make myself vulnerable again. Repeat cycle. There had to be a better way.

Christian and non-Christian friends alike made suggestions for things I could do to attract men: like sports, being more outgoing, be less introverted, flirt more, flirt less, dress one way, dress another, quit looking, quit wanting. I had to give up who I am and my personality and my hopes and dreams and THEN the thing that I no longer wanted would come to me and I could be happy. Bad advice. Like I said, there had to be a better way.

My dad, of course, always told me that a guy should pursue me. He should have to chase me. I need to play hard to get. I need to dress respectably, talk respectably, and expect respect. That did not compute back then, and in some ways the concept of playing hard to get still doesn't compute for me. I'm not hard to get. I'm actually relatively easy to get as long as you've shown me that you are worth my time. I don't like playing games. Games are lies. I hate to say it, but in some ways... my dad was.... you know.

I have noticed a trend of men no longer acting like the pursuer and the provider. Rather than asking you on a date they hesitantly say, "If you want to hang out sometime, let me know." Instead of asking for your number and if they can call you, they give you theirs and tell you to call them sometime. They make suggestions and drop hints that they might want to get to know you better, but then place the ball in your court and leave you to actually do the pursuing.

Have women Have I created the modern emasculated man who would rather not have a chance than to risk rejection? In my pursuit of my own desires and in my own selfishness and impatience, have I stripped men of their need for courage and bravery and taken from them their God-given role? Has the modern woman in opening her own doors, paying for her own dinners, and exercising her independence taken from man his ability and desire to be a leader, provider, and gentleman?

Surely there must be a better way. There has to be, because without it I am left with no hope because my way doesn't work. I tried it my way and my friends' way and the world's way and while I am by no means an old maid, I am still single at 24 while most of my friends are married or in serious relationships. And as for the relationships I've had, I cannot say that I am better for having had them. Stronger and more experienced, sure, but not better.

Albert Einstein defined "insanity" like this: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Intellectually I understood that something needed to change, but the execution of that was the problem. What do you do differently, how do you do it differently, and how do you change your nature?

I'd like to say that there was a switch that I flipped and from that point everything changed. I can't say that; unfortunately I am one who has to learn lessons the hard way. The time did eventually come that I was tired of being hurt and making myself vulnerable. The hurt I've experienced has hardened me and made me distrustful and hesitant to open up my heart, but the story cannot stop there because that would leave me without hope.

I eventually came to the realization that shutting down to protect my heart only protected me from the pain of rejection and of a broken heart, but did nothing to protect me from loneliness or to remove the longing for love and marriage and a family. I could not protect myself from both -- there are always risks in love, but a risk must be measured before taken.

I want to be pursued. I deserve to be pursued and not because of who I am in my own right, but because of how God planned for it to be. You see, God may have created men and women equal in terms of their value but He did not create them the same in terms of their roles.

Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." I firmly believe that a man should ask a woman on a date. He should ask for her phone number. He should lead the relationship. Jesus sacrificed Himself in the greatest demonstration of love on the cross. He sacrificed his societal status as he chose to dine with tax collectors and befriend prostitutes and hang out with society's rejects. He risked it all because he loved me.

In the Bible, men are instructed to love their wives like that, and that kind of behavior doesn't start with 'I do', it happens from the first time he comes in contact with a lady to some degree. Does he give up his place in the Walmart line to let you in front of him? Does he sacrifice his time by holding the door for you or stopping to change a flat tire? Is he willing to put his ego on the line and risk rejection by asking you for a date?

Doing these small things sets the precedent for the larger things. Will he give up his carefree life of singleness to be accountable to another person? Will he do without to make sure his family is provided for? Will he lay down his own interests and give of his time and his heart to demonstrate the love of God to his family and lead them spiritually?

Are you, am I, being the kind of woman who is worthy of his love and sacrifice? Do I show my appreciation? Do I do my part?

Ephesians 5: 22 says, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord." Verse 33 of the same chapter tells wives to respect their husbands.

Do I show respect for men by dressing in such a way that I do not tempt them to lust? Do I show my respect for them by allowing them to exercise their God-given instinct to provide and protect or do I emasculate them by insisting that I can DO IT MYSELF.

Do I submit to God's authority and what His word tells me to do, even when it is against my own sinful nature? Do I submit to my father's authority in my life? Do I submit to a man's decision to do what God has lead him to do by pursuing me or not pursing me? Do I show appreciation for the opened doors, the dates, and the kindness he shows me? Do I reciprocate by making him dinner and showing him kindness in return? Will I listen when he chooses to lead our family in a way that God is leading him? Will I submit to whatever decision he thinks is best for us, even when I disagree?

If I want a relationship with a Christian man who does things God's way, then I must do things God's way. This is not only the better way, but it is the best way.

His.

I find that God often uses normal, everyday things to teach me or remind me of things about Himself or who I am in Christ. Those moments have come after cleaning a kitchen, only to have it immediately dirtied again. They have come watching Kirby learn new things. That reminder may come in the form of a beautiful flower that I feel God sent just to cheer me. Recently, a reminder of who I am because of who God is came at 28,000 feet above the ground.

A few weeks ago I flew down to the panhandle of Florida to visit family. I had the window seat and watched as we began going down the runway, as the airplane lifted, and as we began soaring above the clouds.

Flight amazes me. I know that there is a complicated scientific and mathematical explanation that utilizes the laws of physics that somehow eliminates the mystery of flight, but to me whatever it is that allows a 35,000 lb hunk of people-filled metal to cruise through the air at about 500 mph is a complete mystery.

As I sat in my seat gazing out the small window of the plane, I thought of another mystery that amazes me even more.

I love to sit and watch as the buildings and cars and people become smaller and smaller. I thought about how in this vast universe, I am only a miniscule part. It was a humbling thought. When I am on the ground, I only see a small part of what is going on because I can only see what is immediately around me, but when I am thousands of feet above the ground, I am humbled to know that I am just a small part.

Any self-importance I may have felt vanished as I realized how insignificant I am in this great big universe. On the heels of that thought followed another: God sees the big picture and I am only a small part of His creation. Compared to the Creator of all that I see below and all that I can not see, I am even smaller, less important.

James 4:10 says, "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up." It is only when we realize how un-important we are and how unworthy we are, that we can recognize how big God is and in doing so appreciate more fully the grace that He has so abundantly poured out.

I sat there for a couple of minutes pondering my smallness in relation to God's bigness when the best, most amazing, biggest paradox of all hit me. The question posed in Psalm 8:4 came to mind, "Oh what is man, that you are mindful of him?" I am not just a germ-sized person in an ant-sized car to God. The God of the Universe, the Alpha and Omega, Elohim, Adonai, Everlasting Father, Desired of All Nations, The Great Shepherd, the High Priest, the Holy One of Israel, the I Am... Lord of all Creation, El-Roi "the strong one who sees" SEES ME. He doesn't see just one of many, He sees me. He knit me in my mother's womb (Psalm 139:13), He has a plan for me (Jeremiah 29:11), and He loves me forever (Jeremiah 31:3).

It's not just that He knows me and sees me in all my insignificance, but He calls me His child because I have chosen to call him my God. And since He's the King that makes me a princess. "See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are." (1 John  3:1) He has given me a crown of glory and honor and has made me a little lower than the angels. (Psalm 8:4)

There is a song by a Casting Crowns called Who Am I.

It says:

Who am I that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt?

Who am I that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever-wandering heart?

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are...

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind,
But you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am...
I am Yours.

I am nothing but His, and because of that, I'm pretty special. You can be too.