Here am I. Send me. (Part 2)

Yesterday we left off at the part where God made it clear that He wanted me to attend Lighthouse and use my musical talent to serve Him there, which brings us to where God still had bigger plans than I did.

I knew that the group met at a home every Wednesday night for a small group Bible study. I had been putting off attending because it's a long drive for me (about 40 minutes) and was a little intimidated by the group. One day, the leader/ host posted on Facebook an invitation to join them. I remembered that I had told God I would get more involved and so I made the decision to at least go check it out. I thought that I would maybe mention it at some point that I was available to play piano for Lighthouse if they needed me. However, I wasn't eager to actually throw it out there because I'm a little shy when it comes to volunteering. If someone knows and they ask me, that's totally different than me saying, "Oh Oh! Pick me! I play piano!" I didn't have to jump up and down and volunteer myself, because God works around my limitations. Natalie announced that I play piano and sing, which gave me the opening to say, "I do and I'm willing to play for Lighthouse." Well that was easy enough -- I've played and sang for lots of churches. Service to God isn't that easy, because the leader said, "We're having a church plant committee meeting Sabbath at 1:30. Why don't you join us?" Suddenly I had gone from 'just the pianist' to an active part of planting.

Sabbath afternoon, I showed up at the meeting. We were talking about the Sabbath School classes and planning the worship service and basically what goes on Sabbath morning. While we were discussing SS and who was teaching what (keep in mind that there are only about 6-7 households right now), it came time to discuss the youth class. No one really wanted it. As we sat there discussing who could teach that class, I felt God nudging me. Poke. Poke. Poke. You've taught youth before. You enjoyed it. I've given you the gifts -- use them. I spoke up, "I'll teach the youth." God takes us out of our comfort zones so we will depend on Him.

All along, God has had a plan for me. He knew about Lighthouse before anyone thought of it and for the last two years, He has been leading me here. I really believe that. There are times in my life where I feel like God isn't speaking loud enough for me to hear, and then there are other times where I can hear God shouting to me exactly what He wants me to do. This is one of those times that God's voice has been loud and clear.

I told God that I would serve Him. He's endowed me with gifts and talents and I'm humbled that He wants me to use them to help lead others to Him. I feel a little bit like Moses.

But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"

And God said, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you
that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of
Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain."

Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them,
'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is
his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"

God said to Moses, "I am who I am . This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' " Exodus 3:11-14

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" Isaiah 6:5-8

Here am I. Send me. (Part 1)

Don't tell God that you're willing to serve Him unless you are really willing to serve Him.

For the past couple of years, I haven't had time to be as involved in church as I'd like to be. I also haven't had a church that I could really call my church home. I have come to a point that not only do I have time to serve, but looking at the big picture I can see that God has had a place for me all along and has been working to move me in that direction even before I knew it.

About two years ago, I walked into the University City SDA Church for the first time. I had been toying with the idea of moving to Charlotte after graduation. As soon as I walked in the door, I felt welcome and wanted there. I visited multiple times over the next two years, but had made a decision to go back to Southern and get my bachelor's degree. However, the closer I got to actually attending Southern, the more uncomfortable I became with my decision and I was saddened by the fact that I wouldn't be able to attend UCSDA. After thinking it through and praying about it, I just didn't feel like God was leading me to go to Southern and made the decision to move to my parents (near Charlotte) and look for work. The one consolation to living in Podunk, NC was that I was close enough to attend UCSDA regularly.

Apparently though, that's not really where God wanted me. He just had to get me there to start laying out the rest of the plan. I began attending regularly and learned about Lighthouse. Lighthouse SDA Church is a brand new church that is being planted between where I'm living and Charlotte. Currently there is no SDA church in that area, and they need one. It's literally brand new as in, they haven't even had their first Sabbath yet. After hearing about it, I thought, "Well, when they get up and running, I'll check it out." God had bigger plans.

It seemed like every time I sat down to play piano, I would have this nagging thought that would not go away -- I wonder if Lighthouse needs a pianist.... Finally, one morning I told God that if He wanted me at Lighthouse and wanted me to play piano, they would have to ask me. I thought I had gotten off easy because only one person who was starting the group knew that I play piano, and I figured she had forgotten. God isn't limited by a person's limited knowledge. That night, a few of us were in the car together, two of whom are a part of the group planting the church. They were discussing various churches they had looked at and out of nowhere a hand came flying into the front seat, landed on my shoulder and the ONE PERSON who knew that I played piano said, "You play piano! And you sing! We need you!" I had to just laugh, and then I shared the conversation God and I had just that morning. Still, I was thinking that when they got up and running then I would be there and I would play piano and sing. God thinks bigger.



. . . To be continued. . .

I Will Move Ahead Bold and Confident

Seventeen and a half years ago I embarked on a journey having no idea where it would take me. Dressed in a plaid jumper with my hair pulled back as tightly as Mama could get it, I walked into the classroom for the first time as a student. In kindergarten, I wanted to be a teacher. I probably also wanted to be a teacher in first grade, second, third, forth, and fifth as well. By the time sixth grade rolled around, I learned that there were careers other than teaching and nursing and started to dream a little. The years went on and options were explored and doors were opened. A college major was declared and a college major was changed.

Today, I embarked on a journey having no idea where it will take me. Dressed in navy and ceil blue scrubs with my hair thrown up in a bun as messy as I could get it, I walked out of the classroom as a college graduate. Four years ago I wanted to be an elementary school teacher. Two years ago I wanted to be a dental hygienist. One and a half years ago, I wanted to be a dentist. One year ago, I wanted to be a dental hygiene instructor. In the past year, I have wanted to be a dental hygienist, dental hygiene instructor, dental assistant, dentist, dental product rep, advanced dental hygiene practitioner, and currently a dental hygienist.

Just as I left for my first day of school seventeen and a half years ago, today I step out into the world not knowing where this journey will take me, but with tenacity and trust in God I will take each day as it comes and the lessons it brings. I will walk courageously, meeting each challenge head-on. When I feel like all is for naught, I will look at my five year old self and remember that on that fall day, I did not know what I was to become, only what I was -- a student. My purpose then, as it is now, was to do my best, learn, and to believe that God has a plan for my life.

I am a college graduate. I am a student.

True Wealth

I woke up this morning in the camper that I'm living in and thought, "I am so rich." I have no money that is truly mine. I have no income. I don't have money to go out and shop, get my nails done, or get a new car, but I am so rich. My parents give me just enough money every month to cover food, gas, and my gym membership. I live in a camper. I drive an old car with almost 190k miles on it. I shop at Goodwill. Despite these things I consider myself to be very rich.

My needs are always met. I'm rich.
I have a wonderful family. I'm rich.
I have a few good friends. I'm rich.
I have a roof over my head. I'm rich.
I have food on my table. I'm rich.
My car runs. I'm rich.
I have an education. I'm rich.
I have Jesus Christ. I'm ABUNDANTLY rich.

Henry David Thoreau said, "Wealth is the ability to fully experience life." True wealth is not quantified. I pity those who count their dollars rather than their blessings, because in doing so, they will always discover that they are lacking and will continually be working for more.

First Impressions

There are times when we are all put into situations where we aren't able to be ourselves. Perhaps it's an awkward situation, a bad day, our of your comfort zone... whatever it might be for you, it's inevitable that during one of those times you will meet someone and make a first impression that doesn't necessarily reflect who you are. This poem is about one of those times.

The many commas in the poem are meant to convey the speaker's uncertainty, hesitation, insecurity, and overall discomfort at saying any of this. It's a rambling of sorts -- saying it, taking it back, questioning, doubting, but in the end just coming out and saying it. It's spoken quickly with hesitations.

DISCLAIMER: Like much of the poetry I write, while this may be inspired by a situation that I was in or by a person that I met, but isn't necessarily an accurate representation of my feelings toward the person or situation. I think the most accurate thing in the entire poem is the last two lines and they are more a reflection of my desire for people to look beyond the initial shyness that they may see in me. So here it is.




The Verbosity of Uncertainty

Had we but time, and I courage,
I dare say, but I do hesitate
To believe, that you and I
Could perhaps, but I’m not sure,
Know one another better than today.

If I may have but this one wish,
Neither asking nor expecting, but hoping
That you would, by some chance,
In some way or another,
Desire to know me more.

In opposition to your previous
Experience with me I beg of you,
With the verbosity of uncertainty,
Mistake not my silence
As an indication of indifference.

A Shelter in the time of Storm

The temperature has dropped at least ten degrees in the last twenty minutes. The thunder has been rumbling for about the last forty-five minutes and the storm clouds have been rolling in from the south. I know it's the south because I looked at the map and saw which direction the road ran and it runs SE to NW and so I determined that the storm is coming from the south. The lighting is shooting bright streaks of electricity from the sky to the ground. The rain has just started to fall heavily. The wind chimes on my front porch are making a lot of racket. The dog warned me of the coming storm long before I noticed the thunder as she ran into my room and hid under my bed.

When I began writing this post, I was sitting out on my front porch. I watched as the storm rolled in and sat there as it began pounding the earth with its fury. In the middle of the storm, all I could think was this is so peaceful. And then I watched the bikers drive by on their motorcycles on their way to find shelter from the storm.

Sometimes life’s greatest lessons are realized in the simplest of moments. I had shelter from the storm and as a result, I could watch the storm and feel nothing but peace. The bikers, on the other hand, were not feeling peaceful as they rode through the middle of it with nothing but leather to protect them. Life is like that.

There is a storm raging around us and I know the direction from whence it comes. It comes from Satan. Like lightning Satan fell from Heaven (Luke 10:18). God’s voice has often been described in the Bible as a voice of thunder and I can imagine His thundering voice warning Satan of his impending doom as the battle for our hearts is waged. There are times when the rain falls down and the wind blows hard giving evidence of the storms around us. I can have peace in the midst of this storm, because I have shelter in the shadow of the Almighty God (Ps. 91). There are some who choose to remain in the midst of the storm, trusting in their own merits to save them, but they have no peace.

My prayer is that in the midst of life’s storms, in this storm waging between the Eternal God and the Enemy, that you will take shelter and find peace in Jesus.



For lyrics to the song, you can click here.

The Lesson of the Amaryllis

A friend received an amaryllis bulb as a gift. It came with a soil disk and a pot. She planted the amaryllis and we watched as the bulb took root and the first green shoots sprung up out of the soil. Daily she watched over that little plant, making sure that it had enough water, the right amount of light, and that everything was done to ensure its growth. After a week of watching the plant, it's growth slowed and she became discouraged and doubted that the plant would ever produce flowers.

Sometimes witnessing is like that amaryllis. I try to share God's love with others and through all of my efforts I try to make them know and love God. Just like my friend did everything possible to ensure that the plant would grow and produce flowers, I do everything I can to ensure that those around me will grow in Christ and produce more Christians. So often, I become discouraged when their lives do not reflect my efforts.

Jesus tells a parable about this very thing. He says, "The kingdom of God is like a man who casts seed upon the soil; and he goes to bed at night and gets up by day, and the seed sprouts and grows--how, he himself does not know. The soil produces crops by itself; first the blade, then the head, then the mature grain in the head. But when the crop permits, he immediately puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come" (Mark 4:26-29). The man who sows the seed is clueless as to the work that actually takes place beneath the soil and inside of the plant to make it grow and produce. In the book Christ's Object Lessons, the author says, "Man has his part to act in promoting the growth of the grain. . . but there is a point beyond which he can accomplish nothing. No strength or wisdom of man can bring forth from the seed the living plant. Let man put forth his efforts to the utmost limit, he must still depend upon One who has connected the sowing and reaping by wonderful links of His own omnipotent power."

Just as my friend put forth all of her effort to promote the blossoming of the amaryllis, as Christians we must put forth all of our effort to produce more Christians. There was nothing more my friend could have done to make the plant blossom -- the rest was up to God. And so it is in our witnessing.

Christ's Object Lessons says, "The good seed may for a time lie unnoticed in a cold, selfish, worldly heart, giving no evidence that it has taken root; but afterward, as the Spirit of God breathes on the soul, the hidden seed springs up, and at last bears fruit to the glory of God. In our lifework we know not which shall prosper, this or that. This is not a question for us to settle. We are to do our work, and leave the results with God."

The Lord says, "not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit..." My friend watched the amaryllis for weeks and it eventually bloomed, but it was not by her efforts, but by God's. In this life there may be times when we put forth all of our efforts, and never see the results. Sanctification is the work of a lifetime and we are called to put forth our efforts and allow God to sanctify the heart.

The object of the farmer in planing the seed and tending the growing plant is to produce grain to provide bread for the hungry and seed for a future harvest. So, it should be in the Christian life. CS Lewis wrote,"The Church exists for nothing else but to draw men into Christ, to make them little Christ's. If they are not doing that, all the cathedrals, clergy, missions, sermons, even the Bible itself, are simply a waste of time. God became Man for no other purpose."

As Christians we must do everything we can to ensure a ripe harvest and allow God to do the work of sanctification. As soon as the harvest is ready, Jesus will not tarry to return and gather us all home.

Eat. Grow. Share.







("Eat. Grow. Share." is borrowed from The Lower Room, a ministry of the Spartanburg Seventh-day Adventist Church.)